I’m sure like me you’ll have experienced a manager or someone who has constantly given negative feedback. No matter how good, thorough or justified your work is, they find reasons to be negative.

Leaving you feeling worthless. Well in today’s video I wanted to share 3 ways that you build confidence in this situation. Inspired by the podcast by Lewis Howes, the School of Greatness.

And this is not your constructive – OK I notice you do this, I suggest you alter that slide to highlight the benefits. That’s useful for personal and professional development.

Over time these negative comments become your thoughts and affect your belief system. This starts to create self-doubt.

You know we all get a bit of this each time we step out our comfort zone and do something new. We were all first time at something, whether it’s developer, project manager, team leader, head of or director.

You might be new in a job role and start to tell yourself you can’t do it, or other people hint that you only got this role because of X.

So how do you build your confidence when you hear negative comments all the time? And not give that negative person authority over you.

In this podcast, I’m recommending they talk about 3 steps to do build your confidence when all your hearing is negativity. and I’m going to summarise these three here – but you can check out the podcats on the link below.

Step 1 – Celebrate and Remind yourself of your Achievements

Take yourself back to the time to celebrate your wins and achievements. Instead of focussing on what is happening right now, remind yourself of what you’ve achieved in the past. Take yourself back to a time when you celebrated your wins and achievements.

Athletes and successful business people may have trophies, awards and medals, they can view when they want to relive those moments.

Yet most professionals rely on our own reminders, so write it down, make a personal Brag Sheet or Rainy Day Letter. Which projects were a success because of you, which teams delivered because of your contribution, what products have you helped to shape?

Step 2 Reduced Exposure to Negative Influences

We put up a lot that we think we have to, but you don’t. we stay in a position even when we’re not happy, we feel trapped by the money we earn, belief about the company, not finding anything else.

So who do you allow to have authority over you?

What can you do about it?

One useful strategy is to reduce exposure/ limit the time you spend with them, you know we are who we surround ourselves with.

Sure family this is difficult, and immediate line manager. Find strategies to reduce this time and surround yourself with the people that help lift you up, make you the best you. Raise your standards.

Another idea is to try to turn the negative to a constructive – so how would you suggest I improve X? And what should I be focusing on? Can you give me some support? guidance? training?

If you can’t you’re going to reach a point before your confidece is shattered where you need to move on.

Find a place that aligns with your values, what matters most to you.

Step 3 Centre Yourself with Physical Activity

Use your physical body and movement to change your emotional state. You know when you see athletes, strike a pose or beat their chests, performers too, will give themselves a boost.

You can either go all-in or take small steps, to begin with, deep breaths for a minute, smile, take a strong purposeful walk down the office. Back straight, shoulders back power walk to do the inner work.

Tony Robbins used an exercise with an audience who were suffering from terrible illness, anxiety and money worries to inject some confidence. The audience was asked to stand upright, shoulders back and hands-on-hips. With the participants claiming they immediately felt more powerful.

When we constantly hear negative comments we repeat these to ourselves, lets try replacing these with positive affirmations, try:

I got this!

I work hard and can learn anything!

I am brave!

To summarise the top 3 tips:

  1. Celebrate your previous Wins & Achievements – Instead of focussing on what is happening right now, remind yourself of what you’ve achieved in the past. Write it down and read it every time you need reminding.
  2. Reduce Exposure to Negative People – Choose to limit time with them and control the authority they have over you.
  3. Centre Yourself with Physical Activity – Use your physical body and movement to change your emotional state.

I hope you find this useful. Have you tried any of these techniques or similar, or found other ways to handle negativity?

If you know someone who may like to hear this -then share it.

Take care

Sue xx

PS: If you know someone who may like to hear this, please share & help more leaders in tech become empowered.

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